It's so easy to get distracted by schedules and my own personal life. This is easily one of my biggest flaws. By the time the clock strikes 0700, I'm well on my way toward a day that requires my full attention. Fill the dog bowl, water the plants, make the bed, respond to emails, prioritize duties, check in with employees, confirm scheduled meetings, prepare for scheduled meetings. That all happens well before 0830, and by then, the real work starts rolling in...literally bearing the name Andy. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm only saying that I get caught up in this cycle of "get it done well, and it will pay off."...The oh-so-famous words that run through most DC dwellers' minds.
This mentality is well and good until I realize the amount of time that has slipped by since I last spoke to a friend on the phone. Or when I realize I never responded to a letter written to me...last month. Being available is a struggle. It's not until the dishes are washed, the dog toys are put away, and my pajamas are donned that I feel the repercussions of my mis-focus. The truth of the matter is this: I am lonely. And before you jump to conclusions, hear me on this. For the first time in a very long time, I'm taking full and complete responsibility for this empty feeling. It's no particular friend's fault for my loneliness or lack of contact. It's purely my own mistake in being unavailable myself.
I'd like to think I can turn this very bad habit around and turn it into a refocus of the people in my life and the things that truly matter. What is life without loving others and making them feel special? There is always someone more lonely than me--and I hope to find that person and make her feel loved.
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