Happy Friday

Tea can't always accomplish the absence of stress, but boy, does it sure help!

Hutch News: He no longer sleeps through the night...back to training again!

Open Heart

They say grieving is a process, and I think it's safe to say we've all either experienced this process on our own or have seen someone go through it.  Losing Jesse's dad has been devastating.  We still feel like we'll wake up one day and learn it was a horrendous nightmare.  Something sweet and simple will remind us of him--a football commercial, a man walking down the street in suit and tie, a jar of peanut butter, the Daily Bread, a facial expression on Jesse's face.  Such small things bring the emotions flooding back, leaving us incapable to blink.  But then that moment passes, and we see that the world keeps moving, even if we don't feel like moving with it. 

I've tried my best to stay strong for Jesse these past three months and five days.  I haven't known what my role is in his grieving process, and I've tried to deal with my own grief alone as not to add to his pain.  But in the past week, we both came to the conclusion that we need to grieve together.  As a daughter-in-law, I didn't feel like I had the right to grieve with them.  I only knew him for a short while, and while Gary welcomed me into his family with open arms, I still felt like I needed to take a back seat.  I kept the house picked up, fed empty coffee cups, shared hugs all around, but still all the while grieved deeply on the inside so no one would have to take care of me. 

This past week has been relieving.  Instead of crying in the car and hastily wiping the evidence away before picking up Jesse, I cry on our couch in a warm embrace.  When I see something that reminds me of Gary, I point it out so Jesse can enjoy it too.  I'm learning that I can still be a source of encouragement and support, and perhaps it's even stronger now that we share our grief together.  He leans on me, I lean on him.

Looky, Looky!

Jesse gave me a NOOK for my birthday!!!  I got it registered and set up last night, and then immediately plunged into the real book I'm currently reading so I can get it done before I begin to read on my new device.  Woohoo!

It's the unexpected events that keep life interesting.  We could plan parties or collaborate on travel itineraries, but those planned events don't quite have the same effect as the ones we're not in control of.  Once again, our dog is the culprit of the unexpected.  I'm beginning to see the benefits of short-haired dogs, though I would never trade in my fuzzy fur ball.  At lunch yesterday, Hutch's ears were inflamed and covered with red splotches--to the vet we went.  It turns out he has a common yeast infection as well as a bacterial infection.  They pulled out all the hair from inside his ears since it was trapping the yucky germs inside, filled him up with drugs, and sent us on our way.  Pretty painless (at least for us...Hutch might think otherwise), but still something to add to our "Never Done That Before" list. 

He was RELIEVED to be back in the car after being poked, prodded, and plucked.

Thanks, Dad and Mom, for having me!!!

We Love Visitors!!!

Jesse's cousin, Jill, visited us this weekend.  A business trip brought her to our area, and we're so glad she was able to spend a day and a half with us.  Despite the crazy, extremely HOT weather, we forged through the damp air to see the White House.  This is my first time ever seeing it this close--what a fun treat!  Thanks again, Jill, for extending your trip to see us--we thoroughly enjoyed your visit!  Hutch misses you too!

Fascinating Turbulence

Drama (n): a situation or sequence of events that is highly emotional, tragic, or turbulent.

A splendid word to sum up this past week.  Jesse hit the nail on the head when he said, "I'm so glad I don't work in an office like yours."   I never would've imagined people could pick-pick-pick at such inconsequential matters.  The power-plays that arise in my office are certainly ridiculous, but what's more disturbing is how far they go.  Just yesterday, a director came storming into my office to complain about a decision one of her employees had made.  After her tirade (keep in mind this is a grown woman, standing at my door, stamping her foot and raising her hands in the air), I simply asked, "Have you spoken to her about it?"  Calmness isn't usually what anger wants to be fed, which is exactly why I did it. 

We get caught up in drama--whether it's because we're fascinated with the emotional rollercoasters we see on television, or just because we want to focus on other people's problems to mask our own, we can find ourselves so engrossed in drama that we miss our own life!  I'm guilty of getting caught up in the throws of such things as well, but I'm really beginning to realize that I miss so much when I am driven by highly emotional, tragic, and turbulent events.  Sure, I wish I had thought of the line, "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."  So beautifully dramatic! But I didn't, and yet I'm still happy.  We don't need drama to drive us, we need wisdom.

Proverbs 2:21-24
My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.  When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Posies

A friend gave me flowers...it's amazing how a little color brightens the day!

Best of Friends

Hide-and-Seek Fail

We attempted a Funniest Home Videos documentation of Hutch's hide-and-seek habits...but as with all little things who are asked to perform...he didn't give us his best rendition.  We'll catch it one of these days, but for now...

Parenting 101

First rule of parenthood--keep your child safe (and alive for that matter).  I hear there is nothing worse than having someone who doesn't have a child lecture you on how you should raise your child.  Being an un-parent myself, I do my best to keep my judgments at bay, and put myself in the shoes of a mother who is dragging her screaming two year-old child through the grocery store.  Really, I just want to reach out and help her, but I suppose I want to help her in a way I think works best, which clearly isn't THE way.
Anyways, I digress too easily...Jesse and I experienced a bit of this last night.  No, we didn't miraculously pop out a child for the night, but sometimes having a seven month-old puppy can feel like having a toddler.  There is an adorable little block of restaurants with outdoor seating near our home.  We like the food, and best of all, we can take Hutch with us, tying him up at the fence next to our table.  As we were finishing up our meal, Jesse excused himself to the restroom, leaving me and Hutch to enjoy the cool breeze blowing through.  Suddenly, Hutch started yelping, crying, and what sounded like screaming.  It took me a few seconds to realize he'd swallowed his bone whole, and he was either panicked or in pain.  Now, I certainly know what to do when a child or baby chokes, but a dog?  I hit him on his sides, his tummy, his back...anything to try to make him spit it up.  The restaurant manager came running over and told me to stick my finger down his throat, which I did, but everything was so lodged, he couldn't spit it up.  I could feel the bone in his throat, but couldn't grab it.  All of this is to say...I was a bad parent, and this time, I needed all the advice I could get.  Hutch was crying, I appeared to be beating my tiny pup, and management was swarmed around me on the sidewalk as passersby just stopped and stared.  He's only a dog, but he's MY dog.  By the time Jesse returned, the crowd had dwindled to just two managers, making it seem like I'd been banned from our table to the sidewalk.  We left the restaurant with an uncomfortable and panicked puppy, and the managers reassuring us it will be alright.  Thankfully, Hutch's gag reflex finally was able to kick in, and his poor little body took care of the problem.  Yuck, but yay!  His mishap took the starch right out of him, but he's bounced back pretty quickly.  I better work on that first rule of parenthood a little better...

Drawing the Line

Jesse has convinced me to watch the last of Harry Potter this weekend.  Several of his coworkers are gathering beforehand for a small party, and then we're all headed to the movie together.  Some are dressing up, and that's where I draw the line.  Watching this wonderful movie is one thing, dressing up is completely another story...

My Villain

I sat down here with every intention to complain about DC life.  Forget about the free museums and the beautiful fall colors--I was raging.  But after completing my sob story of a three hour commute of a mere twelve miles, I realized that I'm completely foolish for dwelling on the mishap.

Do you ever read someone else's words or really listen to someone as they tell you how they've conquered a personal challenge?  You can hear this sense of heroism in their voice--they defeated their own villain in their fairytale.  My villain is my inability to turn the bad into good.  Take last night for instance--I was stuck in the car for three hours, but did I turn up the music and car dance to my heart's content? No.  Did I smile at the frustrated drivers crammed on the three lanes next to me? No.  Did I take the one hour that Jesse was in the car with me to focus on him and hear about his day? Shamefully, no.  Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I always thought this verse was about God--He will turn bad into good.  "Of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Now there's some responsibility--a calling--if I've ever heard one.  Here I was, grumbling in my Little Red That Could on I395, missing every opportunity to make the three hours count. 

How foolish of me to waste three hours of my fairytale to let the villain win.  When I was wee, I hated having to play the robber in "Cops & Robbers."  I hated even more having to play the bad student in "School."  Pretending to be a villain isn't fun, so why should I allow it to beat me now?

My ranting about DC life has been deleted off the screen, and in its place is a hopefulness to beat my villain.  God takes all things and works them for good for those who love him.  I just have to allow Him to do so, and maybe next time I will do a funky car dance.

The Importance of Feeling Dainty

Each new day brings with it an assortment of challenges, and while my job doesn't present itself with severe issues like Jesse's job does, it definitely provides moments of frustration and accomplishment.  So it is with great pleasure that I return to our home each evening to find reminders of who I am.  While I may be a beast on the phone when a contractor assumes I know nothing because I'm a woman, I am just that--a woman. I love pretty things. Camping, digging in the dirt, learning about sports cars--those are all very fun things, but I have to admit, I wouldn't be complete if I couldn't feel dainty.
My talented and creative mom embroidered this beautiful pillow for me while they were here, and it serves as a constant reminder that it's okay to be me...a conundrum of sorts.  I like hanging with the guys, but I also cherish my times spent with my girlfriends.  I like proving myself at work, but I also like relishing in peaceful quiet times with a cup of tea in hand.  I'm surrounded by independent, corporate-minded men and women at work, and while I'd like to think I can fit in, that really isn't who I am, or at least not who I want to become.  Feeling dainty is the icing on the cake, the bowl of ice cream on a hot day, and maybe even the tick to my tock.

You too can be a farmer...

 It's no wonder farmers do what they do year in and year out, despite years of drought or flooding.  I am no farmer, but I am proud to say we've successfully grown crop on our very own balcony.  The tomatoes are ripening at momentous speeds due to our three digit temperatures, and the green peppers and cayenne peppers continue to grow bigger and bigger.  Watching a seed be sewn into a lush plant is quite a miraculous experience, and I never realized how rewarding a vegetable garden can be.
Just yesterday I explained to a few coworkers how my vegetable garden has come to life.  They weren't sure how to interpret my enthusiasm--yes, my shoulders were hunched, my eye brows raised, and yes my hands were clapping.  I'd hoped to be met with additional excitement, but instead was delivered with a good dose of laughter.  But I assured them if they followed my example, they too could experience such joy from something so simple. 

Reading Between the Puppy

While I've known for some time now that our dog is clingy and loves attention, I didn't quite realize the extent of his problem until this weekend.  Saturday morning I sat down to read my book and enjoy a pot of tea, using my beautiful china set from my mom (THANK YOU, MOM!!!). 

 

It was a matter of moments before I was ambushed by my furry friend.  After a quick tummy rub, I was able to convince him to give me at least most of my book...

Hide-And-Seek

My predictions have come true.  Hutch is clearly going through withdrawals now that my folks went home.  He played hide-and-seek for at least a half hour last night, only this time, he wanted my mom to find him...he didn't understand why she never came.  Nor did he like that we pulled him out from under the bed without his desired findee there to greet him.  Mom, you need to return.

Come Back!!!

My parents flew home early this morning, and since their departure, Hutch has been out of sorts.  As I was taking their bed apart, he climbed up and promptly stopped me in my tracks by burrowing in the sheets and staying there, just looking at me with his sad brown eyes.

For the Love of Flowers

Did you know DC is more than just marble and brick?  Drive just a short distance away and you'll discover some beautiful scenes...

One of my favorites...Dad and Mom overlooking the Shenandoah National Park

Morning Coffee with Mom

Fridays are always a day we look forward to--the end of a long work week and a beginning to some together time.  This Friday was especially lovely.  The coffee and banana bread were quite tasty, but sharing it with my mom is what made the day!!!