Dreams

Do you ever wake up and wonder why there are monsters or flying cows in your dreams?  I've always been an avid dreamer.  My dreams are filled with vibrant colors and realistic occurrences.  While I've always dreamed (haha like that pun?) of writing a book or movie from one of my dreams, I've never really had the gusto to get it started.
Anyways, enough rambling.  Last night I had a very strange dream.  Jesse and I lived in a large house.  My main job was to be a hostess and nurse of all of our guests...filling the 25+ bedrooms in our house.  Jesse's main job was to save those people staying at our estate from whatever problem they were struggling with.  Some had ulcers, others were haunted by memories, and others were just plain crazy.  Jesse wore a black cape that if he chose, he could instantly do a little shake or something and the person's problem would vanish.  People traveled from all over to see him...hmmm...sounds vaguely familiar.
Well, one night a young man arrived to our home and asked to see Jesse.  I escorted him in and showed him to his room.  Moments later as I was shutting the door behind me to leave him alone, he walked through the door and burst into a blue burning flame.  I screamed and tried to put the fire out, but nothing would extinguish the flames. 
So as not to bore you with the complete dream, I'll cut to the end.  After days and days of this man suddenly appearing beside me and throwing flames at me, I finally grabbed him and shook him violently.  I screamed, "Why are you here?  Why do you keep attacking me with fire without intending to harm me?"  As the last word slipped of my tongue, his face changed from a tense young man to a calm, kind man.  He said, "I represent your heart and mind." 
Then I woke up.
In the Bible, dreams meant something.  Because I can almost always remember my dreams, I wonder if sometimes my dreams mean something.
Hmmm

White as Snow

We endured a blustery winter storm last night and watched the wind whip the heavy, wet snowflakes around like soaked cotton balls.  It wasn't long before every surface, even the tiniest of bare branches, was gently blanketed in pure white.  There's a moment before the chaos hits when snow is serene and peaceful.  Before the plows muddy the streets and the impatient drivers throw unkind words through their windows, there's a time when all you see and hear is the falling sky.  As each flake finds its resting place amongst the others, the faint tinkling of snow forces us to calm.

One of my favorite songs while growing up was "White as Snow."  As a little girl, I prayed on some cold wintry nights that God would send snow to the beach.  There was something about waking up to a white world that made me feel like I was in a special place.  That song has always been special to me because I could relate to a simple thing like snow.

Psalm 51 says "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

This morning as I arrived to work I was soaking in the beauty around me: tree branches hanging low from the heavy white burden, sloping roofs wrapped in a powdery treat, and even the piles and piles of muddied snow along the roads.  I was in that special place.  It wasn't more than five minutes before I heard the first complaint:  "I didn't get home until midnight," and then a few moments later, "I hate driving in this weather."  Rather than agreeing with these comments, my face lit up and I said, "Isn't is lovely?  Just look outside--isn't that beautiful?"  Though the reaction wasn't more than an awkward grimace, I realized something.  Snow isn't just snow to me.  It's a reminder.  I'm washed white as snow.  Regardless of what we've done, what we've said, and what we've thought, Christ chose to restore us so that we may be clean.  How remarkable is that!?  White as snow, though my sins were as scarlet, Lord I know, that I'm clean and forgiven through the wonders of your cross.  

Taking the Mind Captive

After deleting the same sentence about five times, I'm surrendering to the fact that I don't have the appropriate words to describe exactly what I'm thinking right now.  Last night was a difficult evening, and when it came time to lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes, I was bombarded by disturbing thoughts.  Jesse turned off the t.v., joined me in the bedroom, and sat beside me.  He grabbed my Bible and just read.  He read everything he found encouraging, uplifting, and promising.  When I didn't think I could close my eyes for fear of what I'd see, he held my hand and just kept reading.  I fell asleep with Scripture repeating in my mind, and when I awoke this morning, I had worship songs playing in my thoughts.  Thank you, Jesse.

Light Amidst Work

Pandora plays every day at my desk, keeping me going throughout the day.  Just as it seemed like I wouldn't be able to take much more, this song burst through the speakers. I couldn't help but smile.  Work is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and even when some days feel like they're crashing down, God's love never changes.

You Never Let Go by Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” - Galatians 6:7-8

World of Paperwork

Some corporate offices have opted to operate paper-free.  No pens, no paper, no paraphernalia.  Nothing but a screen, a keyboard, and a mouse.  These corporations amaze me.  One, I can't even answer the phone without jotting down the name of the person on the line.  Two, I work for a man who doesn't believe in anything BUT paper.  Paper calendars, paper memos, and paper phone messages.  When he returns from a business trip, it's common for him to make my office his first pit stop.  He plops his briefcase on the guest chair and proceeds to plunk folded boarding passes, wrinkled receipts, random business cards, and the like on my already pile-ridden desk top.  Before long, the mountain on my desk is so large I can't look over it even if I tried.  You may wonder how I manage to operate in such an disorderly fashion--especially for those who know me well.  I'll be honest--at first, I didn't manage it at all.  My eyes hazed over, and my heart beat could be seen through the blue vein in my forehead.  This non-technology way of operating was new to me 10 months ago, but now, it's become second nature.  My boss is gone today, yet my desk looks like this...

 I'm the culprit for making it look this way now.  I've found two solutions to operating in a world of paperwork.  One:  LISTS.  No big surprise that I, Heather, formerly Nelson, Field would resort to utilizing lists.  At NASCAR my lists were electronically built through Outlook, but not any more....they're...yep you guessed it...paper post-its.  (Sorry Trees)  Two:  Well, just look...

Girl Scout cookies.  My boss has a habit of buying them in bulk from every cute little girl who knocks on his door.  The girls have caught on and have become quite smart, leaving at least five XL shipping boxes full of cookies to be "taken care of."  I am his assistant after all...I have to take care of everything...including eating cookies from 2010 so the 2011 batch can come in.

I came across this photo and thought what a wonderful picture to share on this slow Wednesday afternoon.  Here's the before picture:

 And here's the after picture:  Don't mind the blue finger...they still haven't fixed the thermostat in my office so it's still FREEZING.

Spiritual Journey

Tomorrow evening, we are meeting with two youth pastors from our church in hopes of serving in the high school youth group.  Both Jesse and I have a heart for youth, and now that we've found a church, we're pluggin' in.  In preparation for our meeting, I filled out the application this morning.  Here's a sampling of some of the questions: What are your expectations for the youth ministry staff?  Why do you want to serve in youth ministry?  What are you spiritual gifts?  These questions are easy to answer, but it was the Personal & Spiritual Background section I found to be difficult. Not difficult because I didn't know the answers but because I realize I need to think about these questions more often.  What is a significant event in your life that impacted you spiritually?  What are three major ways you've grown in your spiritual walk?  How would you best describe your spiritual journey now?
If I thought about just one of these questions once a week, my life would surely be sharpened.  My words would be delivered softer, my thoughts would be holier, and those around me would feel more loved.  One of the things I explained in my application was that some of my poor decisions in college opened my eyes to a new side of Jesus Christ. At the end of the day, when every girl in the dorm had fallen asleep, I lay awake on my bunk bed with teary eyes and an open Bible.  When night fell quietly over me, Jesus was the only friend I had to comfort me, to forgive me, and to love me.  He's not just a historical figure who calmed storms and fed thousands with crumbs.  He's here right now, holding our hands each step of the day.  I'm thankful for the little reminders God sends us to remind us of what is important in life. The future often dominates my thoughts as I dream about where we might live in a few years, what our family might look like, and what goals we will have achieved.  The future is good to look at, but perhaps spending some time in the past of how God got me here is important as well.  We need to focus on our spiritual journey.

Christmas in Silverton

Before I recap on our trip to Oregon for Christmas, I had to share a photo of my sweet little friend, Bella.  I was invited over to her house to decorate Gingerbread Houses before we flew out, and I had a blast.  Most candies made their way to little mouths, but the houses managed to get decorated.

 Jesse very excited about his three Star Wars movies.

 Modeling my new hat and boots.

 Visiting Grandpa and Grandma Nelson

 Gary reading the Christmas story

 Christmas morning!!!



Living a Purpose

Oftentimes we strive to be bigger and better.  We desire nice things, and we're told we must be successful to obtain them.  I can't help but smile when friends and coworkers share with me their New Years resolutions.  In the past few days I've heard everything from the most common: lose weight and save money to some very unique goals: swim with sharks and feed the homeless.  Regardless of what the resolution is, there's one commonality between all of them--to become a better person--to find satisfaction in a good decision.
This morning was a Starbucks morning--meaning rather than heading straight to work, my car continued on toward the famous green circle.  It didn't take me long to realize they'd increased their prices since the last time I had visited.  Sure enough, my Grande Decaf Mocha, Extra Hot was going to cost about fifty cents more.  Despite my disappointment, I placed my order and got in line to pick it up at the other end of the counter.  Much to my surprise the Barista handed me a Venti cup and said, "Thank you for coming to our store.  You're one of my regulars."  Now, perhaps an increased size in coffee isn't the most miraculous thing that will happen today, but it will most-likely be the most miraculous thing that happens to me today.  I'm not sure if this man woke up this morning and repeated his New Years resolution in his head to be kinder to customers, or if God whispered in his ear that this girl needed a special treat.  Regardless, he was bigger and better today, and success happened to have nothing to do with it.
Five days into the New Year and I'm beginning to see how I can make not just a New Years resolution, but rather a life resolution.  Rather than thinking about being a better person and what I'd like to do for others, I need to BE  a better person and DO those things for others.  The radio host on our local Christian station said yesterday that it donned on her that the last year passed by without a specific purpose or meaning.  She decided she was going to thrive and not just live. 
God didn't create me to just live.  He created me unique and quirky to fulfill His mission.  It may be silly that a free Venti coffee could make me realize it, but hey...perhaps that's why God told the Barista to do it.