When hard times happen, I'm always reminded of God's presence and faithfulness. When I was a tiny morsel of a girl, I can remember the night my dad was rushed to the hospital due to his brain tumor. At the time, I was confused and frightened because all I knew was that something was wrong. I can remember sitting at John & Becky Nagle's dining room table as they prayed for Dad and Mom. God had never felt so important to me. He felt big and powerful, and Pastor John helped me see that it was okay to feel scared, but there was no need to worry.
This past week felt much the same. When I received news that Mom had been rushed to the hospital because of kidney failure, the helplessness returned. With no immediate flights available, I was forced to sit and wait for the clock to make its rounds. None of us got much sleep that night, and all I could think to do was pray and beg God to keep Mom here on earth. I just kept thinking, Dear God, I still NEED my mom here. The memory of sitting at the Nagle's table returned to mind, and I remembered it was okay to be scared, but there was no need to worry.
I'm thankful God has chosen to let us keep Mom longer. I still can't imagine what life might be like without her right now. And through this whole experience I realized something--I never was worried about God taking her. It would have been terrible--awful--devastating. Losing Mom would feel like the end of the world. But, knowing she'd be celebrating Jesus beside her own mom leaves a sense of peace. Until you face the reality of losing someone you love, you don't quite realize how you really feel about it.
It's okay to be scared, but there's no reason to worry.
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